Even the biggest changes begin with small ones.
~ Julia Cameron
Seth Godin is the author of 18 bestselling books that have been translated into more than 35 languages. He’s also the founder of squidoo.com and The Domino Project. I’ve been following his blog for several years, and I appreciate his insight into business, marketing, and leadership and his passion for trying to change things, especially how our thoughts and actions affect others. The following article was posted on his website in March 2015. As usual, his insight hits the mark.
Sorry confusion by Seth Godin
The first kind is the apology of responsibility, of blame and of litigation. It is the four-year old saying to his brother, “I’m sorry I hit you in the face.” And it is the apology of the surgeon who forgot to insert sterile dressings and almost killed you.
The other kind of sorry is an expression of humanity. It says, “I see you and I see your pain.” This is the sorry we utter at a funeral, or when we hear that someone has stumbled.
You don’t have to be in charge to say you’re sorry. You don’t even have to be responsible. All you need to do is care.
In this case, “I’m sorry,” is precisely the opposite of, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” which of course pushes the other person away, often forever.
As we’ve been busy commercializing, industrializing and lawyering the world, countless bureaucrats have forgotten what it means to be human, and have forgotten how much it means to us to hear someone say it, and mean it. “I’m sorry you missed your flight, and I can only imagine how screwed up the rest of your trip is going to be because of it.”
“I see you,” is what we crave.
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
There are no advent police. There are no family traditions enforcers. There are no report cards given on the kind of memories you’re making. Sometimes doing less is the best gift a tired mom can give her family. Simple. Simple. Simple. Keep it as simple as works for you. And if all you do is give everyone a cup of hot chocolate now and again – including yourself – you are winning. ~ Lisa-Jo Baker
Lisa-Jo Baker gives wonderful advice for moms on her Surprised by Motherhood blog, but these jewels should be snatched up by everyone, not just by mothers.
“Keep it Simple” is a maxim we often hear but usually ignore. It’s one piece of advice we should repeat to ourselves as often as necessary during hectic holidays no matter the time of year.
Lisa-Jo also offers The Tired Mothers Holiday Creed “for the days we are running on empty… For the days we’re sure anyone else would do this job better. Host this family more calmly. Have a house more presentable.” Here are seven of my favorite points from the list of twenty. You’ll also find a printable version at the end of her post.
- I shall accept that a messy house at peace is better than an immaculate house tied up in knots.
- I shall remember that guests will only feel as comfortable in my home as I feel in my own skin.
- I shall embrace the fact that in becoming a mom I traded perfect for a house full of real.
- I shall pause between preparations to savor the celebrations.
- I shall remember that hospitality is about opening the door, not about how fancy the furniture, decor or dishes.
- I shall treat myself with the same grace I offer everyone else.
- I shall not be intimidated by how the holidays, the turkey, the tree or the memories “should” be celebrated but love the people I’m celebrating with instead.
What advice do you follow (or wish you did) for making holidays more enjoyable?
Image (Christmas Tree With Snowflakes) courtesy of jannoon028 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.