2 Simple Keys to Survive a Book Event

bull's eyeAre you shy? Are you an introvert? If so, you understand the horror that is public speaking. As a child you pretended to study the book on your desk so the teacher wouldn’t call on you in class (even though you already knew the answer). You stammered or stuttered or sweated your way through the dreaded oral presentation – and you still do.

I am one of those writers who would happily spend my days holed up in my dark, cozy cave, stories streaming from my fingers onto the keyboard, only coming out for chocolate and Mountain Dew. That’s my idea of a perfect writing life. No public speaking for me. No selling myself. But if a writer’s goal is to be published, she must satisfy some requirements and re-enter the light every now and then.

One of those requirements is a book event – in the case of my first one of a few weeks ago, that meant a discussion, a reading, and a book signing. (Just so you know, merely thinking of doing another one makes my hands shake and my stomach turn.)

I had done my research and knew how to prepare for the practical aspects of it: make notes and study what to say, bake goodies to share (brownies and cake), gather pens (for signing, just in case), as well as a bottle of water, bookmarks and business cards. I even showered and put on clean clothes – living in a cave can leave one dusty and rumpled.

But how does a shy, introverted cave-dwelling writer stand up in front of a group of strangers and sell herself and her book? The answer is…she doesn’t!

In my search for peace in this process, for a way to make it through the horror, I discovered two simple keys to survive a book event:

1.  Don’t make it about yourself: Make it about the audience.

If you were in the audience, what would you want to know about a book and its author? Keep this in mind as you plan the talk.

  • Include a brief introduction about yourself, where you’re from, how or why you started on your writing journey. The audience is made up of regular people (just like you, right?) and they want to identify with you.
  • Talk about why you wrote this particular book. Out of all the stories you could have written, why did this one grab hold of you and not let go? Don’t be afraid to show your passion for the project.
  • Many readers are also writers or they aspire to be. Explain what your process was like as you wrote this book – your day-to-day routine, research, the cycle of editing, your challenges and victories, how you put it all together. (My audience was especially interested in the fact that I color-coded the chapter outline of This New Mountain, cut it in sections, and laid the pieces out on the floor to decide what chapters went where.)
  • In choosing what to read, what excerpt most exemplifies your writing but would also most hold the audience’s attention? Whatever you decide, keep it short.

2.  Don’t make it about selling your book: It’s as simple as that.

  • Selling a book would be great, but focusing on that could turn you into one of those sleazy car salesmen. You know, the ones with the fake smiles who circle round and round like vultures. Don’t go there, don’t even try – giving yourself permission to let go of this is enough to make a shy introvert dance in the streets (not really).

If I were to summarize what I learned from my first book event, it would be to respect your audience. Two simple keys helped shift my focus from myself to those who really mattered – the people who took the time out of their day to drive across town to hear an unknown author speak. And that made all the difference in my ability to handle the situation.

I’d love to hear about your experiences with public speaking. What is your advice to get past the “horror” of it all?

Swimming with Stingrays

For this post, I’ve gone into my archives and updated one of my earliest articles.

Cate Macabe with a treasureHere’s a photo of me on the coast of Maine with a treasure I found washed up on shore.

Seeing the not quite picked-clean bones of this huge fish reminds me of similar encounters at a time when I was young and innocent, playing in the sand with my silver spoons and plastic bucket, trying to dig to China. I remember how sand crabs skittered about while I dug deep holes that filled with ocean water seeping in under the beach. I remember finding the shield-like remains of a spiny horseshoe crab with its stiff dagger tail. And one peaceful afternoon, two men dragged a large thing through the surf and onto the sand nearby. A sleek, grey, smooth-skinned body with a long tail, and side and dorsal fins. I was little and the thing was huge, and it was a shark.

That creature laying on the sand made me wonder what else swam out there in the deep, among the rushing waves just beyond the shore. What else was out there that I couldn’t see? Close enough for swimmers to capture, close enough to swim among the swimmers.

I decided I didn’t want to be one of those deep-water-swimming-with-creatures kinds of people. I’m perfectly happy to watch the waves for hours, feel my toes leave impressions in the warm sand, smell the salt in the air, hear the gulls cry. At peace with the forever cycle of sea meeting land in a rush and swell, a falling back, and a reaching out once more. 

The sea and me, we have an understanding: if I don’t go in too deep, it won’t eat me alive. It’s not the fear of drowning that keeps me rooted in ankle-deep surf. I can swim just fine. No, it’s the things in the water I can do without. And I’ve always been okay with this perfectly logical fear I have.

Then I took my oldest daughter on a Caribbean cruise for her 21st birthday. We explored Mayan ruins in Cancun, hiked through a waterfall in Jamaica, visited a place called Hell. It was all wonderfully normal, until she wanted to swim with stingrays. AND she wanted me to join her. How sweet of her to think of me. The water would be warm and clear, she said. Clear enough to see all those creatures living in the ocean.

In doing research for This New Mountain, I came across the following quote by Ambrose Redmoon:

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

At the time of the cruise, I hadn’t been introduced to AJ Jackson (of This New Mountain) and her head-on approach to dealing with fear, but I knew deep down if I let go of this chance to share something remarkable with my daughter, I would always regret it. And a part of me actually did want to [shudder] swim with stingrays.

I talked myself into it and out of it dozens of times. I was still talking to myself as I followed my daughter down the ladder on the side of the sightseeing boat. I changed my mind again, but I couldn’t climb back up, someone was already clanging down the ladder above me. My heart pounded. I tried not to look at the water below as I stepped onto the bottom rung. To keep from hyperventilating, I had channeled deep Kung-Fu-Lamaze breathing for a good fifteen minutes up to this point. No other options presented themselves besides shoving the person above me off the ladder. I took a few more slow, even breaths, told myself to just do it, and dropped into the warm ocean.

I expected to have to push off the bottom and swim to the surface, instead I touched solid “ground” after a few feet. The water resting over this pristine reef was only armpit deep. The sand spread out at my feet soft and white and unmarred as far as I could see. No shells, no seaweed, no creatures, nothing but sand. It was as if someone had swept it clean just for me. This wasn’t so bad. I could do this.

Soon a murmur started from a group of people bobbing in the calm farther away from the boat and me, and closer to the open sea. Shadows slid through the water, dark cloaks winging toward us. I screamed along with everyone else – tenor and soprano voices mixed together, men and women alike.

But these stingrays were not there to hurt us. They were more like dogs racing in for the treats the tourist boat always brought along to bring them close. The rays hugged our legs and spun around us. My daughter, the adventurous child, hugged one back. I stood as still as possible and took photos of rippling cloaks and tiger-eyes unblinking. Soon the creatures turned and swept back the way they came.

I still don’t like deep water, won’t go in it, preferring slow walks along the edge of my mind and the surf. I’m comfortable with this fear, its limitations and its limits. I suppose I’ve always known that some things are more important than fear, I just don’t like to have to practice that particular piece of wisdom. But now I can say I swam with stingrays – and I never have to do it again.

Is there a fear that keeps you from doing something you’ve always wanted to do? Is it time to take a few deep breaths, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and jump in?

Do the Hard Work

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Very Inspiring Blogger Award

very-inspiring-blogger-awardWe’re honored that Jackie from The Crossover blog nominated us for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Please check out her blog (here) where she reflects on the lessons she’s learned in life, especially from the game of basketball.

The rules for accepting the award are:

  1. Display the award logo on your blog.
  2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
  3. State 7 things about yourself.
  4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
  5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.

Here are 7 things about me: 1) I love playing in the rain; 2) my favorite color is blue; 3) houseplants never live more than a few weeks under my care; 4) I could eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; 5) I enjoy watching war movies; 6) I don’t mind bugs and snakes; and, 7) I do mind spiders and sharks.

Below is my list of 15 blogs that I’d like to nominate for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award (I’ve included blurbs from their websites but that isn’t a requirement of the award). The list is divided into two categories: Writing and Life/Faith. I follow many blogs and it was difficult to whittle down the list.

Inspiring Writing Blogs:

  1. Molly Blaisdell at Seize the Day, http://mollyblaisdell.blogspot.com/ – “Explore the art and craft of writing with a healthy dose of inspiration for artists of all kinds.”
  2. Fran Guenette at Disappearing in Plain Sight, http://disappearinginplainsight.com/ – “My philosophy is that writing about writing is writing about everything….”
  3. Robin Kalinich at Ink and Alchemy, http://inkandalchemy.blogspot.com/ – “Writer, artist, chemist. Madly in love. My goal is to encourage, inspire, and transform – one creative endeavor at a time.” Featuring artists and writers.
  4. Marcy Kennedy at http://marcykennedy.com/blog/ – “I write novels that encourage people to keep fighting. I want to let them know that no one is beyond redemption and that, in the end, good always wins.”
  5. Peter Mallett at http://peterdmallett.wordpress.com/ – “Writing in color because life is more than black and white.”
  6. Janalyn Voigt at Live Write Breathe, http://livewritebreathe.com/ – Great writing advice for writers on living with passion, writing well, and remembering to breathe.
  7. http://storywritingstudio.wordpress.com/ – “The StoryWriting Studio wants to come alongside writers, to create a network of aspiring and experienced writers, who desire to share their dreams, their discoveries, and even their failures.”
  8. Telling Herstories: The Broad View at http://storycirclenetwork.wordpress.com/ – “We’re a group of women writers sharing our passion for the art and craft of life-writing.”

Inspiring Life/Faith Blogs:

  1. Annie at Eyes Wide Open, http://ambirkelo.wordpress.com/ – “Looking up and living in God’s truth.”
  2. Lisa-Jo Baker at http://lisajobaker.com/ – “I think motherhood should come with a super hero cape and a cheerleader.” Encouragement for women and mothers.
  3. Cole Bradburn at http://colebradburn.com/ – “I’m a leader, a writer, and a doctor of chiropractic. My mission is to help people live well through asking better questions, challenging accepted norms, and empowering self-responsibility for their lives.”
  4. Marcus Brotherton at Men Who Lead Well, http://www.marcusbrotherton.com/ – “Great leaders inspire action, and by looking at their lives (and inadvertently at our own), we are invited to discover what it means to go forward, live nobly, and lead well.”
  5. Mary Demuth at http://www.marydemuth.com/ – “My deepest dream is to see stories – mine and others – change lives as they’ve changed mine. Although I write both non-fiction and fiction, I’m especially fond of the latter because of the power of story.”
  6. Jeff Moore at My Everyday Power Blog http://everydaypowerblog.com/ – “Imagine a world where people didn’t give up on their dreams, followed their hearts and lived with passion and excitement. How would this impact our life? What enormously positive impact would this have on our families…our world.”
  7. Andrew Toy at Adopting James, http://adoptingjames.wordpress.com/ – “With this blog, I hope to enlighten you with truths about adoption and a myriad of other topics. I want to entertain you with book and movie recommendations. And I want to stimulate your mind and your heart toward topics on religion and Christianity.”

Thank you again, Jackie, for the nomination.

Book Event for This New Mountain

I’d like to invite you to a book event taking place tomorrow, June 13, at Bookworks in Albuquerque at 7:00 pm.

TNMcoversPrivate investigator AJ Jackson and I will discuss her memoir This New Mountain. I’ll be reading from the book and AJ will answer all those questions you’ve always wanted to ask a private eye. There will be cake and some nifty new bookmarks to take home…so come on by and say hi.

We hope to see you there!

10 Quotes of Truth

Candles2For years I’ve saved quotes about friendship and motherhood, fear and failure, life, love, and laughter. I find them on the internet, in books and greeting cards. What I like about the quotes I save is that they get to the heart of something important in life – they speak truth to me, truth to anyone.

I would love to have a single wall devoted entirely to framed quotes of every kind, but one wall wouldn’t be enough to hold them all. I would need one wall for love quotes and one for writerly quotes, another devoted to family, still another covered in ancient wisdom…but if I did that, my husband would think I’d gone off the edge and he probably wouldn’t come home.

But I should get them out of the notebooks and computer files and display a handful here and there in a more acceptable, decorative, house-wifey way. That’s for a future project. Right now I want to share a few of them with you. (For sayings with more of a country feel, see this post and this one, too.)

Here are ten of my favorite quotes:

A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves. ~ Amelia Earhart

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

The scariest moment is always just before you start. ~ Stephen King

The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is on the contrary born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else – we are the busiest people in the world. ~ Eric Hoffer

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ~ Thomas A. Edison

Find the work you love and do it, and you will not work another day of your life. ~ Confucius

Old age is that night of life, as night is the old age of day. Still night is full of magnificence and, for many, it is more brilliant than the day. ~ Anne Sophie Swetchine

The most wasted of days is one without laughter. ~ E.E. Cummings

Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it. ~ J. Petit Senn

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. ~ Maya Angelou

What is your favorite quote or saying that has made a difference in your life?

A Lesson from Piglet

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